"I said everything I was ever going to say"

http://www.cringehumor.net/index.php?/features/mike_destefano_1967-2011/

For any comedian or comedy fan, you've heard by now that the wonderful Mike DeStefano passed away this past Sunday. It goes without saying what a loss this is to the comedy world and just the world in general. Someone so genuinely funny and kind should not have been taken from us so soon.

Whenever anyone dies, there’s always an out pour of condolences, from both those close to the deceased as well as complete strangers. It’s always welcomed and I’m sure it brings some comfort to that person’s family. I try to put myself in their place and in the midst of that devastation; it would bring some solace to know that I wasn’t the only one who was going through grief. That someone I cared about so much meant something to other people; affected other peoples’ lives in some way. I think deep down that is what we want from life: to be remembered. Now how we are remembered is definitely not up to us. It’s just interpretations of what others saw us as…or maybe what other people wanted to see in us.

I don’t claim to have been close to Mike but what I did see, whether on stage or off, was without a doubt something that more people should’ve seen. The same thing I’ll miss from him is what I miss from most comedians that were taken too early from us: honesty, raw emotion, and the ability to just be themselves despite what anyone else thought. These are qualities that I still strive for in my own art and what serves as advice that I give to anyone who wants to be a comedian: be yourself and come from an honest place. I am in no way saying that I’m anyone who should be giving out advice, but the bravest (and funniest) comedians are those who gave their audience just that.

That is how I’ll remember him: an extremely candid and raw person. And I’ll try improving the world (at least the comedy world) by trying to do what he did. Challenge the audience. Don’t give them an easy way out. Make them listen to your honesty because it’ll make them be honest with themselves…about every flaw, every emotion, everything that makes them angry. Bring your pain and anger to the forefront because if that’s what makes you YOU then that’s what an audience will want to see. There will always be dumb audiences, but if we don’t give in and don’t cater to them, like Mike did, then I really think comedy in general could be better.

Again…I’m a nobody. I’m in no position to say anything. I’m a baby in this world, I know that. But if anybody wants to remember or honor Mike…then start with yourself. Start with what you put out there. If you are sincere and coming from a real place, you will make your art better. And I’ll never be one to say, “This is what he would’ve wanted,” but I will say that maybe Mike would’ve laughed at you. As long as you’re honest.

Swing and a miss...

I decided to take a little break and write about baseball for a moment. Enjoy.




I've become increasingly sad over the last couple of years. Something I love and hold dear to my heart is starting to fade away. The quality, the structure and the overall love of it is being destroyed. And I'm not sure who to blame or how to stop and/or change it.

Think back to when you were younger. It's either gym class or just after school. You're standing against a fence with a group of other kids who are gearing up to play baseball. You're so excited because you love the game so much! And one by one, each team keeps passing on you. And you've been playing baseball for many more years than most of the kids against the fence. You're skilled better. You can run faster, pitch really well, have great hand-eye coordination, and can catch. You're an awesome, competent, talented ball player who's fun to watch and always give the true baseball fans an amazing show of what the game should be.

But for some reason, they keep picking the younger kids, the scrawny ones with no muscle, the kids who can't throw and have no idea how to handle themselves on the field. And the girls. For SOME reason, no matter how bad they are at the game, they keep choosing the girls. And it's just a fact...most of the time, girls suck at baseball.

Why would they do that? Why would they choose the players who obviously can't play?! Why would they purposely want to use less-than-great players? It's only going to make for a terribly boring and frustrating game!

I can't assume how long this has been going on, but I know it won't end any time soon.

And now, sadly, the fans can't tell the difference anymore. The game has become the same to them whether their team is full of real ball players...or girls and wimps. They stumble, strike out, and foul constantly. Doesn't matter...the team captain and the fans forgive them. As if they haven't done anything wrong.

They sometime take steroids to help and sure...now they LOOK like real pitchers and catchers...but still don't possess any skills. They have all the fancy uniforms and people shouting for them, but there's no improvement on the inside. They don't have that special something that makes you really love the game. Most of the players nowadays are coasting because...they don't have to get any better. They don't practice pitching or exercise at all to improve. All they have to do is keep getting picked from the fence...and their job is done. Go out there and play a shitty game. Who cares? They'll be looked at just the same as someone who worked very hard to get onto that field.

And I don't think I'm asking for much. I would just like to see a baseball game the way it used to be played. Years and years ago before everyone thought they could just pick up a bat and be recognized. Before everyone thought they had that "special something." I want to enjoy a game...not be enraged by it.

So who's to blame? The team captains for picking bad players? The fans for not demanding better players? Or the players themselves for even thinking they can step onto the field?

I will say I'm not involved in the sports industry at all. I have no idea what goes on in the mind of a captain. All I know is that I can't watch a game anymore without being a little sadder each time. I can't watch a game anymore without noticing that the catcher is not standing in the right place; that the batter is holding the bat upside down; that every player is almost struck out or runs way too slow; or that the really great players are benched the entire game.

Maybe football is the way to go now...

My Interview with Jim Norton

[Originally posted on November 10th, 2008]

I'm really late with updates :)
Here's an interview I did with Jim Norton for Punchline Magazine.


Jim Norton: Comedian For All Mediums
After his first book, Happy Endings: The Tales of a Meaty Breasted Zilch stayed on The New York Times Best Sellers list for four weeks, it’s no surprise that Jim Norton would once again venture into the literary world. His new tome, I Hate Your Guts is a compilation of acerbic, all-too-honest essays about the people who irritate him most: everybody from Al Sharpton to Starbucks employees (and even himself). His biting honesty and colorful language leaves you feeling just as pissed off as he is, and laughing the whole time.

Heard everyday on the nationally-syndicated Opie & Anthony radio show, seen on the bigger stand-up stages throughout the country as well as his second HBO show, Down and Dirty with Jim Norton (not to mention the occasional film), Norton is fast becoming a master comedian of all mediums. Punchline Magazine recently caught up with the New York based comic.

I Hate Your Guts, is much different than your first book. This is less autobiographical. Why did you decide to write a second time?
They had asked me to do a second book. They said, ‘How about something on pop culture?’ And I’m like alright, but I didn’t’ want to take shots at like, Lindsay Lohan, or any of that shit. I wanted to just write about people that I couldn’t stand and that really made me want to throw bottles at the television in the last year or two. I just wanted to shit on people that have been irritating me.

Yeah, you do that a lot on Opie & Anthony. Did any of that sort of inspire you?
Well, what inspired me on O&A is the fact that we do that every day. It’s honest; we talk about what we want to talk about. And a lot of shows don’t really bag on other people, but we do— so it was kind of comfortable to do it in book form. You know, I’m a comic; my job is to be funny, so hopefully people laugh at it. It’s not like I’m accusing any of these people of rape. I’m just making fun of them.

Yeah, I heard the book needed to be vetted carefully by lawyers.
Right, I’m not saying they embezzled money. They’re all public figures and they’re getting shit on and they deserve to get shit on. It’s like, you know you can’t be Jesse Jackson or Sharpton or Keith Olbermann and be as vocal and as media hungry as they are and not expect people to hit you back once in a while.

Was it easier for you this time around to write a book?
No, this one was harder because the first one was done over the course of a year and a half. We were kicked off the radio and I was manically depressed. So I was just getting hookers and all that stuff and writing about it in a blog form and was hoping to turn it into a book someday. But this one, I said, ‘Okay, I have to actually write a book.’ So, I hired a girl to do some research for me ‘cause you know, I wanted to get the facts correct and…I got a lot of information on these people [because if] you’re going to rip on these people, you should have some of the facts.

The book is very funny and it’s great because that’s who you are; honest and mean when you have to be.
Yeah, because all you can do is tell the truth. I mean, I’m not always right. Too many comedians are obsessed over being right and being politically brilliant and poignant and they end up just boring everybody. They think they should go on Fox and CNN and talk brilliantly and it’s like, ‘Shut the fuck up. You don’t have to be right. You’re allowed to express your opinion, but be funny with it. You’re going to be right half the time and wrong the other half and that’s the way it is for most of us.’

As a comic, I’m not afraid to blast people and be wrong and be corrected even. I’m not always going to say the right thing. I hate when people say you have a responsibility. No, I don’t. My job is to be funny and I don’t have to think for other people and I don’t allow other people to think for me. I don’t think I’m going to change anyone’s opinion. I just try to make people laugh and I don’t need to agree with you to laugh at a joke. I’ve listened to Paul Mooney many times. He’s black and he’s radical and I don’t agree with a lot of what he says, but he makes me laugh. So if I hold myself to those standards, why shouldn’t I hold other people to them?

You have a lot going for you now, besides the book; you had a new show this Fall on HBO, Down and Dirty. How was that experience?
Well, it was great, I mean HBO gave us four episodes. We may do more. I actually talked to the president of HBO yesterday. What he’ll do, I don’t know. Those guys never play their hands, but he was complimentary about the show so if we don’t go, it wasn’t like ‘Hey, he thought it sucked!’ I just don’t know.

Was that reaction different from the one you got with Lucky Louie?
Yeah, in the sense that my name is on this one, but there was producers and stuff picking the acts. I didn’t really have any structural control, but HBO said we wanted to make sure people know it’s a comedy show, so how about we just call it Down and Dirty with Jim Norton? I mean, I’d have to be a moron not to say no to that.

And Lucky Louie was written by a bunch of great writers, but it was a fun project because if something wasn’t working, Louie’s a stand-up so [a lot of times] we could just try things at rehearsal and laugh or we would do a live taping and [when it’s] comics just doing the same jokes in front of the audience, you don’t feel comfortable doing it, so we had to redo something [and] a lot of times Louie would go, ‘You got anything else?’ and we’d try a second line to try to get a natural laugh out of the audience. That’s why I loved doing Lucky Louie and I really was furious they didn’t give us a second season.

Yeah, a lot of people were. It wasn’t like this happy-go-lucky environment like Friends.
Yeah, it wasn’t a bunch of good-looking people in beautiful apartments. The critics are such faggots. I mean, they like to look at an overly done set. You watch a show like Two and a Half Men— who lives in places like that?! I mean, who has a fucking decoration every eighth of an inch? Lucky Louie was [shot] on a dumpy apartment; there was no sweetening of the laughs, it was all live. The audience’s live reactions were totally real so if a joke didn’t do well, some jokes got little laughs and other ones got massive laughs.

But people have become so accustomed to sitcoms softening and sweetening the laughs and then balancing them, so it sounds like a production and using a laugh track. And Groucho Marx said that what has ruined comedy is the laugh track because it doesn’t have to be funny. A laugh track is a disgusting, cheating thing. You’re putting in fucking laughs where they may or may not belong. It’s fucking really irritating so we never ever used that.

I remember Louis C.K. saying how he would tell the audience, don’t “fake-laugh” at anything.
Absolutely. There’s so much pressure from the audience by people who are not usually performers— like when they want to get wide shots of the crowd clapping and fake laughing so they can edit better. I went nuts when they were taping Down and Dirty cause [I was saying] ‘What the fuck are you doing, making the crowd fake-laugh for? That’s so nonsensical.’ People know what to do when they hear something funny— they laugh. If they don’t think it’s funny, they won’t laugh. But it’s a problem in comedy in general that permeates the business is that people just have to spoon feed because they’re just so afraid of something not getting a laugh [but] that’s what comedy is. Sometimes it’s great and brilliant and other times, it’s mediocre and it misses. So let people see it for what it is.

It’s great that there’s a show out there where comics aren’t dumbing it down for the audience. Is it important to you to expose more people to this kind of cringe comedy?
Well, to me, it’s amazing how this type of comedy isn’t being represented right now on any real channel. To me, it’s like there’s so many great styles: there’s alternative, dirty, political. And to me, none of them are better or more pure than the other. They should all be represented in some form. But I like to see edgier or dirtier comedy. Other people might prefer Brian Regan or Jerry Seinfeld—and that’s good! But there’s this allusion that people who don’t curse are doing a higher form of the art— and they’re not. Pryor cursed. Carlin cursed. Woody was a genius and he didn’t curse. So it doesn’t make you better or worse for not being dirty. As long as you’re original, I think that’s the most important thing.

The general television audience is exposed to things like Last Comic Standing so they think ‘Oh, that’s what comedy is.’ Do you think this show might change the audience’s mind about what comedy is?
Well, people did watch it. We did pretty well with the ratings. We didn’t get a whole lot of promotion and we knew we wouldn’t. And in the final episode, Patrice O’Neal’s episode, they almost doubled…well, maybe not doubled, but almost 40 percent higher ratings. It was a huge jump so it made me feel like it was due to word of mouth. These people are catching on, liking it, and it had very good On-Demand numbers. So people definitely did watch it so I would love to do more. But to me, edgy is not necessarily dirty. It can be, but it can also just be social commentary or any of that stuff, it doesn’t have to be dirty.

There isn’t really a large representation of this kind of comedy where comics are being honest and not doing cutesy, easy things like Last Comic Standing.
Well, Last Comic Standing is a network show, it features new comedians, and it’s totally aimed at a different, broader audience and they’d get 10, 15 million people and I’ll never get those kind of numbers because our humor is aimed at a different audience.

Do you think this show might change people’s views on comedy or maybe “convert” them to watching this style of comedy?
No, because I don’t think there is a one thing of what it should be. Do I watch Last Comic Standing? No, because it’s a little too cutesy for me. I don’t know if my show will convert people, I just want to bring people this kind of humor because I think there are a million of them out there. I mean, pornography is the biggest selling video industry out there, it’s a billion dollar a year industry, so don’t tell me people don’t enjoy a darker side of life.

Did HBO approach you with this idea or did you come to them?
Well one of my managers is one of the producers of the show and my managers also produce Little Britain, so they went to HBO with the idea. And I wasn’t the guaranteed host. My manager suggested me, but it was ultimately HBO’s call. And luckily, I got the gig. It helped obviously having my managers produce it.

Did you have a lot of say on the show, in terms of which comics get booked or anything else artistically?
Not really. I gave a rough idea of what I wanted the set to be but there’s so many producers who deal with all this shit and as times goes on, if more episodes are shot, the better off we’ll be and maybe then I can say more. But there wasn’t anybody on it that I didn’t want on it. But there’s so many comedians that I did want on, like my friends of course: Otto and George I would have loved to have on it [or] Pete Correale. But there were people from L.A that they put on like Anthony Jeselnik who turned out to be fucking fantastic. So those are guys I would’ve looked over because I didn’t know them. The producers had the total control over that.

Do you think this could span into a tour?
I would love to do a tour. Dice wanted to tour…and the reason I haven’t is because I was putting certain shows around book promotion. Like Boston, New York, and New Jersey. But I would love to do a tour with Dice [and other comics]. My book comes out today and Artie Lange’s book comes out next week so I would love to go out and do gigs with Artie some day. Even though there’s been fighting between the shows [O&A and Howard]…there’s not anymore because we’re all with the same company now, like no one’s fucking angry anymore.

Would you want the taping to be in New York or bounce around a little bit?
Well, I would want it to be in New York because I like a certain mentality of the audience. L.A. crowds are nicer, they’re good-looking, but here [with the] Opie and Anthony fans, the Stern fans, they’re animals and that’s what I want [for] this type of humor. I don’t want a pretty crowd. I shot an hour for HBO about a year and a half ago in D.C. and they seek the audience for the shows and I said, I don’t want a bunch of great looking couples up in the front. That’s not my audience. My audience are misfits, they’re single guys.

Is there anything else you haven’t accomplished yet that you’d like to?
I’d like to obviously be on a show that lasts for more than one season. I did one line in Kevin Smith’s movie so I would love to do more than one line a movie. My acting is mediocre, I’m not an actor, I’m a fucking stand up, you know? I’ll do acting if it’s right for me, but I can’t just go and play the fun-loving neighbor because it’s simply not my nature and it would come off as phony. I would love to do a little bit more with that stuff and I want the radio show to keep going. But I hope people like the book.

Live photo at Comedy Cellar, NYC by Heidi Kikel.

The Next Great Depression

I have always been a fan of comedy. I remember I was ten years old when the first comic I ever watched was Janeane Garofalo. I related to her sarcasm the most and at such a young age, I never saw a female portrayed like that and it was refreshing. She wasn’t blond or classically pretty or clucking on about boys and dating.
Since then, it’s been an intense hobby for me. Comedy Central, (at the time) showed hours upon hours of stand up every day of the week. It was absolute heaven to me. I watched everything! I remember first seeing all the comics we love today when they had their TV debuts: Lewis Black on Comedy Central Presents, Robert Kelly and Jim Norton on Premium Blend. Not to mention a slew of others that I still love to this day.
No one else knew more about comedy than me as a kid. I remember liking Dane Cook when he was good (and not shoving two of his fingers in every snapshot taken of him) and back then, no one knew who the fuck he was.Ugh… it was all downhill when I get to college and that stupid fucking super finger followed me into my nightmares...brainless fans.

Since I was a teen, I have known better: I don't think Carlos Mencia is edgy, nor do I think Dane Cook is a growing legend. I don’t think Jeff Dunham’s puppet act is one of a kind nor do I think Pablo Francisco should have a career! I’ve known that these are the thoughts and beliefs of those who do not know any better. They follow blindly and eat up what’s given to them. In a way, I can’t blame them.
Fast forward to now. I’m 22 and have been exposed to the real side of the comedy business for over a year. I’ve seen the “fancy” shows with the big names, the shitty open mics and everything in between. All of it is fucked. There’s just no better word for it. I don’t want this to become a forum for bashing New York City comics (quite honestly, I don’t need the trouble), but without using any names, let me just discuss how the quality has gone way down!

I know this has been touched on by other websites (fuck, how could it not? It’s the huge fucking unfunny elephant in the room), but seeing it firsthand has made me sick. Going to the former Laugh Factory and seeing some jackass (on more than several occasions!) do more time than he should be allowed; all about drinking and getting drunk. Twenty minutes on the stage at the famous Laugh Factory and all you have to say about life is getting drunk and not remembering anything? What the fuck are you contributing to the world? The next night I go and see some woman pontificate over nothing! Yeah, great, you use your breasts to attract men. Holy God! Someone call Montreal! Someone call HBO! We got an aspiring legend on our hands!
I disagree with *Patrick on one thing…the quality of comedy overall has gone done due to the comics themselves. At least that’s how I see it. No one is writing anymore and nowadays, people in general I think are just dumber and can’t form a real opinion of what good comedy is. Which just means anything will make them laugh. The comics who win me over write from their heart. They discuss what’s real to them and thus, we can relate to it because it’s something real to us. It hits a nerve with us. Isn't that the fucking point of comedy! Laughing over a subject brings people closer together. But, that’s not the case today. You can do a slightly accurate impression of Al Pacino? Boom! You’re featuring. You angrily discuss how women talk too much? Boom! You’re at Gotham.
With the quality going down coupled with the over-saturation of the market, people are getting a less-than-high quality product. Just like anything else that absorbs that lethal combination. You think McDonald’s were as unhealthy today as they were when they first opened up? No way. Back then customers got a real burger that wasn't slathered in chemicals. But, with competition, laziness, and the thrill and desire to scam more money out of people while spending the least amount, the quality of food went down. And just like McDonalds, New York City comics that are featuring in the city today makes me want to vomit.

*NOTE*: Inspired by Patrick's article about the lack of scrotums on bookers at Cringe Humor.

Sticks and stones can break your bones…but words are much more fun.

(The "aftermath" of my reviews of LCS Season 5...this was put up last summer originally on Cringe Humor)


“We’re searching the world…who is the funniest…you will decide…who will be the last comic standing”

Don’t those words just send a shiver down your spine? That same shiver you felt when you watched Are You Afraid of the Dark when you were nine. Unfortunately, unlike that pleasant thriller, Last Comic Standing is still on the air, continuing to disappoint millions of real comedy fans (Alright, so maybe there aren’t millions of them…at least 235…maybe). And as a real comedy fan, I think it’s safe to say I can tell the difference between a good comic that possesses great creativity and writing skills…as opposed to a comic who does obsolete impressions of Jack Nicholson and Al Pacino.
Recently, during season 5 of Last Comic Standing, I bared witness to this awful comic named John Caparulo. To be honest, my first instinct was to not give his name out because I didn’t want to give him any press. In any event, I basically called him out on his awfulness, and to my surprise, he wrote back to me in a not-too-happy manner.

“Actually, what I said was that I DON'T LIKE big dogs. If you’re going to criticize someone, you could at least try to be accurate.
And yes, both Larry the Cable Guy and I wear baseball hats on stage, but the similarities stop there. He is from the deep-south while I am from the midwest, and our respective points of view are completely different. However, I wouldn't expect you to recognize that because you’re only 21 and have probably never even left your parents’ house.
The problem with MySpace is that it makes nobodies from Nowhere, New York, feel like they're really important. The fact that you actually take the time to sit and write a comprehensive review of a television show, even though no one is paying you to do so, leads me to believe that you’ve gotten used to people listening to whatever you have to say. But, trust me, as you get older and older (and heavier and heavier) people are going to start listening less and less. So, I guess, enjoy it while it lasts.
As for me, I've done pretty well for a “dumb hick.” I've been on the Tonight Show twice. I’ve done a Comedy Central special, and I have a movie coming out in February. I’m pretty sure all of that didn't happen by accident. Meanwhile, you’re still living with your mom and criticizing people who are actually doing something with their lives. So put that in your next blog, fat girl.”

What an interesting way to respond. Don’t get me wrong, I found it hilarious. I personally enjoyed the fact that I irked him so much that he felt the need to write such a comprehensive insult back to me. My first response to this was how pathetic he must be that he went out of his way to try and prove how wrong I was and said that I’m a nobody who knows nothing. If that is so true, then why respond in the first place?
“I’m sure it bothered him… [But] you gotta have a tough skin,” says comedian, Harry Terjanian. “As far as what he did, I don’t think it was necessarily wrong of him to respond, but I think for him to get personal and insult somebody as calling them fat or whatnot…shows that it really bothered him and it’s kind of pathetic. I wouldn’t have done that.”
“If you don’t like it, that’s just the way it is,” says comedian Joe DeVito, who was on Last Comic Standing with John Caparulo. DeVito made it past the auditions and performed on the showcase, but unfortunately didn’t make it far into the competition. “If someone wants to say I’m not funny, they’re entitled. If they say I’m a joke stealer, then I need to take them on. Unless they’re making an accusation, then you have to let it go.”
“I get a lot of negative criticism mostly online,” Terjanian adds. “I ignore them completely unless something bothers me factually or someone misrepresents something. If you just don’t think I’m funny that’s fine. If they make some kind of factual statement that’s wrong or say that I’m saying something that I was not saying. That’s the only time I ever comment on it.”

When I first posted up my mini review of Caparulo’s set on my Myspace profile, I originally got one of his quotes wrong (not that it mattered…it was still unfunny). So he was right in writing to me to correct a wrong quotation…but as for the rest of it? It just confirmed how pathetic he really is and as other comedians will tell you, you should never let your anger show. It lets that “dumb fan” win and trust me when I say that it does make us “dumb fans” very happy to know that we ticked someone off. That was never my intent; I just simply wanted to voice my opinion. But to know that something I said made such a “celebrity” so angry that he took time out of busy schedule to write to me, says more about him than me.

“Any comic that’s dealt with criticism…some guys are too sensitive and take any critiquing…with a ‘fuck you’ reaction,” says comedian Joe DeRosa, who recently had his own awful experience with Last Comic Standing and unfortunately did not make it onto the show. “I don’t take it well…it’s the only job where people think they have the right to tell you if you’re doing it wrong. Most of us fall into that trap. If you really care about what you’re doing, then when some stranger tries to diffuse your work in 30 seconds, you picture all the times you’ve bombed and got shitty money.
“Its all because you believe in this stuff. It’s very hard to not snap on somebody, especially because comics tend to be sensitive and insecure. It’s hard not to indulge yourself and make this person feel stupid, but it shows they’re getting to you.”

“With Caparulo, his attacks got personal too, which you never really wanna do,” Terjanian says. “Whether they’re a fan or not, unless it’s onstage and that’s different, but internet comments, you should take them for what they’re worth and know that some people are gonna hate you and a lot of people are stupid. As far as Caparulo, from his perspective, I can sort of understand why he’d be pissed because to him, he’s funny. When you tell someone they’re unfunny, you’re telling them they’re no good, whether they realize that or not.”

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and thankfully we live in a country where complete free speech is not only protected by law, but it’s encouraged (well…most of the time, if you don’t count the Don Imus/Opie and Anthony/JV and Elvis debacles). Unfortunately, that’s also going to mean that, for comics at least, you’re going to get some great opinions and some terrible ones. If you’re a comic and someone insults you or your act, take it with a grain of salt and know that you know better.
Thankfully, Last Comic Standing is almost over…for the moment…and we can all go back to seeing real comedy (especially live in clubs). As for John Caparulo? I had fun with my response and allowed my sarcasm to run rampant.

“Oh, wow, I'm so sorry! You're right! I completely misrepresented you! And you know what, now that I know what your joke really is...I was absolutely wrong about you! You're so creative and original...I can't believe what I was thinking! I was wrong, I'm sorry. But now let's go over what you got wrong. First of all, Larry the Cable Guy is an act. His name is Dan Whitley from Nebraska (not the deep south). Here's a link to a video of him BEFORE he became a hit on the Blue Collar Comedy Tour. I figured if you're such a fan of accuracy, you might be interested in it:

Daniel Whitley

Second, I am only 21 but I have been living in my own house in New York for the past three years. But that's okay, you didn't know. I forgive you completely. Third, if I'm such a nobody from Nowhere, New York, why would such a huge celebrity like yourself take the time to respond to my 4 sentences with such a long response? I suppose your movie shoot that day just got canceled and you had some time to kill, right? Yeah, that's understandable.
But thank you anyway for writing to me. I get so tired of hearing praises from so many comedians on what I write about the show, that sometimes, it's nice to hear a different opinion. Especially coming from someone so well-read and erudite. It makes me feel so special that while I'm sure I'm not the first one to give you such a negative review, but I am someone who hit a nerve. That would make any fat girl feel special.
You must tell me when your film comes out, I'm dying to see it! Love ya!”

He never wrote back to me. Most recently, out of curiosity, I checked to see if he was still on Myspace. He isn’t. And I really hope that wherever he is, he’s bombing on stage. If my words can hurt him…God knows what a New York club audience would do to him.

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 13 & 14

Yep, I haven't updated in a looooooonnnnng time. My apologizes. So let me just sum up what might've been my last two reviews on the last two episodes of LCS Season 5.

Jon Reep won. Lavell Crawford didn't...to my surprise. I thought he had it for sure. But this show continued for another season during the summer...and shockingly enough, I didn't watch it. I couldn't. For one, I had improv class during that time. And two....Esther Ku. I think that's all I need to say. Ugh. Believe me, I watched ONE episode...and that alone was enough to make my stomach turn.

This industry sucks.

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 12

"Comedy's biggest title is on the line!" announced Bill Bellamy at the start of this week's episode. More like the biggest lie of the year. Is he fucking kidding me? Biggest embarrassment of the 21st century is what this idiotic show is. After doing his own horrific set, he introduced Harland Williams: "comic and international favorite." ugh...where do I even begin with that? "He was in Dumb & Dumber and There's Something About Mary." Yep, and apparently hasn't done a damn thing since then.
Harland Williams' act hasn't changed in years. He's still just as...weird as I remember him. His non-sequiturs just don't make any sense to me. He talked about how you could yawn so long that a hotdog flies in your mouth? Now that's just lazy writing. Or perhaps he just put a bunch of words on pieces of paper and randomly selected words: "yawn," "mouth," "hotdog," and go! And his joke about filling a woman's breasts with beer so he has more interest in her...I'm sure I've heard that before.
The next "special guest" really gives meaning to the term, special. Last season's winner, Josh Blue, stopped by. The only joke I appreciated was when he had this bit about him being unaware of what his right arm was doing, and found out it was Republican. "Now you're Republican, too?" he said to his arm. "You know we need the stem cells!"

Now it was time to find out who made it through to next week. To my surprise, the first one chosen was Gerry Dee. After each winner was announced, they showed a video made of them going back to their old jobs. Gerry Dee, following in the grand tradition of performers, was a waiter. "My waitering days are over," he said. "I better stick to stand up." Um...*cough*...yeah....you do that. His performance was after that and it made me especially mad. He recycled his joke about women taking longer to get ready except disguised under an observation about gathering designated drivers. Women do it ahead of time, men do it at the last minute. Sounds very familiar. I thought it was funny that at the end of his set, the camera panned to this couple: a man in a flannel shirt mouthed the words, "wonderful," to his wife who was next to him in a polo shirt. It reminded me of those people you see in the infomercial audience and overreact at how fast the blender can grind up a tomato.

The second comic announced was Lavell Crawford. If you're curious, he used to be a crossing guard. His performance was as it always is...using the same joke for all it's worth. I get this image of wet rag and someone wringing it for as much water as he can get out of it. Call me crazy but there's only so much I want to hear of his trip to the doctor's for an anal cavity search. He then mentioned he had a dream where he ate a giant rice krispie treat and (say it with me)...his mattress was gone. I'm VERY sure this has been done everywhere else! Ugh, his light came on 8 minutes too late.

The third and final comic to be announced was...Jon Reep? That means that Amy Schumer is out. Before she left, she said, "If a girl takes the stage, give her a chance, she might surprise you." I can't even joke about that...I just agree with her. Right on girl! I guess that article that Shecky Magazine found was wrong.
Jon Reep's old job was at the Good Year Auto Center. Yeah, pointless, I know. The start of his performance wasn't bad. He continued to do what I appreciate about him which was to show the audience his own point of view of the world. He talked about how people in Los Angeles don't think much of him because of his accent and they expect him to say any minute, "Shoes?! What are shoes for?!" That made me giggle.

And that's it for this week! Two more weeks to go! Hang in there guys...it'll be over soon...that is, until Summer 2008. Sigh, oh boy...so much therapy...

[Original post date: September 5th, 2007]

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 11

I just want to say congratulations to anyone who has stuck around and watched this show long enough to make it to the 11th episode. That's right...about 3 months of this. You all must have a strong will.
The night began as usual with Bill Bellamy. I was shocked to see that he must've turned on the news and actually sat down to write modern relevant material! He talked about Michael Vick, and I started to believe that maybe he's moved on from his usual prehistoric race jokes...but alas, my dreams were crushed. I think I counted about ten times that he used the phrase, "white people." It reminded me of Bill Burr's joke about being on the train when a black person as saying "cracker" over and over again. "Shouldn't I be getting offended at this point?" Well Bill Burr, I wondered the same thing.
To jump start the show, they brought out Doug Benson. Well, I suppose that's better than past contestants on the show [I spoke too soon...tune in next week and you'll see what I mean]. Doug Benson was his usual alternative self. I liked where he was trying to go with his joke about using phrases from movies because his date never watches movies. He heightened it pretty well when he ended it with, "That'll do pig."

The first comic that made it through to next week was Gerry Dee. Before each comedian went onstage, they showed some footage of them with their family. Gerry Dee with his wife and child looked liked they came straight from Pleasantville; the Brady Bunch's distant relatives. Just blond, squeaky-clean silhouettes of surburbia. It all makes sense though as to where his comedy comes from. He continued to tell stories surrounding his experience as a school teacher.

Lavell Crawford was next. If you saw Meet The Clumps...then you've met his family. I really hated his first joke because the punchline was something Gerry Dee had said. He told how his mom got a job to get his family out of the ghetto and into the suburbs so he could do stuff those white kids did like tape their penises together (which was one of Gerry Dee's lines). I hated how he got laughs completely based on another comedian's material. It was basically stealing because the only reason the audience laughed is that they knew it was Gerry Dee's line but placed in a different context. Whatever...still stealing to me. His other material just annoyed me; how he went to camp and was given the advice to play dead if he encountered a bear. So when Lavell Crawford did run into a bear, he asked him if that was true. Apparently, the bear responded, "If you saw a box of Popeyes chicken with red beans and rice, and strawberry soda, would you eat it?" Yeah...don't change that stereotype. Ugh.

Amy Schumer did her worst this time, in my opinion. She seemed to have used her A-material early on in the competition. And I noticed how her delivery has become very formulaic: her girly voice with short pauses before her punchline delivered with a laugh because...she's just a girl after all. If I was complaining about her girlish persona before...then this time her act was saturated in it. She talked about her deaf boyfriend then talked about her sister's colorblind boyfriend. A woman discussing dating? I had so much faith that she could've done better than this...

The fourth comic was Jon Reep! This meant that Ralph Harris was going home! Again, I'm not a huge fan of either, but based on Ralph Harris's arrogance...well, karma can get you and I'm happy he went home. Despite my opinions on this show, it's great for comedians and no matter how long you're on the show, you should be happy with national exposure because it's basically guaranteed work. The fact that Ralph Harris acted liked he deserved it more than the other comedians just because he's older and has been in the business longer was just disrespectful (I'm sure older comics would feel the same way...but you don't make it obvious! At least pretend to be humble...)

Jon Reep actually impressed me this time. It was such an odd experience for me. He started off by saying how in the country, the people are creative because they create such odd songs, i.e. "Jimmy crack corn and I don't care, (saying crack corn sounds like a hillbilly drug problem)" or "She'll be comin' round the mountain." I do think pointing out the sexual innuendo was a bit of stretch, but I did like the bit nonetheless. Expanding from that, he said how some lullabys are odd-sounding too: "Rock-a-bye baby in the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock...and down will come baby, cradle and all...goodnight son." I liked the dark element to it, it was unexpected coming from him. "Is daddy on the crack corn" was a good callback.

And as I mentioned earlier, next week we will have the "pleasure" of seeing Josh Blue and...Harland Williams? Oh boy...well at least I'll have fun trying to decide who's more disabled.

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 10

We've come a long way everybody; from the Mel Silverbacks from our neighbor to the north to the Captain Australias of…Australia. We've been through the good and the bad [let's face it, the bad and the worse is a better assessment]. And now, as our good ol' host, Bill Bellamy puts it, "out of the thousands, we're down to the final five" (I'm sure he meant to say out of those that had representation, we're down to the final five).
Here's where I'd normally recall the horror story that happens every Wednesday night and keep a chart of the amount of blood I lost from slitting my own wrists…but instead, I think this time, I'll actually reflect on Bill Bellamy's set.

You know why? Because it was so nostalgic and in this fast paced world of wireless internet, IPhones, and Nintendo Wiis, we need to take some time and reflect on the jokes of the past. Perhaps this is what Bill Bellamy was doing because he couldn't have brought back Bill Clinton jokes and meant them, could he? No, no, he MUST have been doing us a favor and bringing us back old memories of 1998 when Bill Clinton fucked a fat girl…hey, you know what? Leave me alone! I HAVE to be this optimistic and think this way…I just can't lose any more blood.

Lavell Crawford: He was the first comic who waddled onto the stage. Before he went on though, he kept saying how he's been in the business for years and that now, it's his time. Time for gastric bypass surgery maybe…but to be a comic? I don't believe there was ever such a time.
He started off by recalling his days of working at a fast food place called Happy Burger. Now if there was ever a comic who went to the well WAY too often, it's this mess. He talked too much on this same subject and kept dancing around the ever so obvious punchline: how when people would go through the drive-through and ask for a happy burger, he'd say they were out. Or if people came through the drive-through asking for a double happy burger, again, he'd say they were out. Yeah! We get it! Because you ate them already! Quit beating around the fucking bush, just say you're fat for 5 minutes straight, and save us all a lot of time! He went on to say how if he had slaves who were ancestors, then they were lazy. Thankfully, Lavell Crawford doesn't have to worry about his inherited laziness giving him trouble…I doubt there's a tree branch strong enough to hold him. (I will say that this last line was given to me by Harry Terjanian...gotta give credit where credit is due)

Jon Reep: Before he went on stage, just like the other comics, he said a few words into the camera; mostly about why he wants to win Last Comic Standing; "I wanna get the money, I wanna get the notoriety, I wanna get the respect…" And I wanna get a fucking rifle and shove it though my spinning brain…we can't always get what we want, Jon.
I had to admit that the direction Jon Reep went in this time wasn't that bad. He took this point of view of being an unadulterated country boy and used it to his advantage. Instead of slightly alienating the audience by being "too Southern," he showed the audience some of the absurdity that he sees from his down to earth view. He began by complaining about people who talk on their cell phones out in public and says that a fun trick to play on them is to listen in on their conversation and act like you're part of it. If they ask for privacy, tell them no because there are in public and that their privacy is invading the public. It was a clear, concise and he got across exactly what he was trying to say and made the audience understand him. A perfect way to get people on a comic's side. I do hope however that his pun at the end wasn't on purpose. Adding on to his cell phone material, he just said, "You want a bluetooth? Eat a blackberry."

Ralph Harris: This man once again gave us a preview of his family reunion. The relative of choice this time? His aunt. I wouldn't have minded that he mocked his family, as long as he had a solid point of view and it was clear what he was trying to get across. Ralph Harris went all over the place with his aunt! And there was no point! There was no setup, mockery, punchlines, nothing! He just began telling us about his aunt like he was putting her profile on eharmony.com or something. She had a blond wig on with her black hair sticking out the front and looked like a ram; she tries different diets and blends everything; she had fat arms and he could swing on the fat underneath them; PICK AN AVENUE AND STICK WITH IT! It was frustrating trying to understand what point he was trying to make by telling us about his aunt. I've never met his family, but I already hate them because this self-proclaimed "comic" is in their family tree.

Amy Schumer: Before she went on, she said one of the most accurate statements made about comedy: "Women have to be twice as funny to get half the credit." So true my dear, so true. Amy once again played her innocent girl character while saying things that are completely the opposite. While she's still young with not much experience, I think if she works at it, she could be one of the good ones.
She starts out with saying she lost weight thanks to Dr.Phil; not because of his advice but because he makes her sick. I thought it was cute. Not amazing, not hilarious, but cute. That seemed to be the theme with her jokes. They are very clever, but in the way your significant other would think up something very funny: "Oh, honey! It's because he makes you sick? That's so funny!" Case in point, she continues on by saying that her mother would make her family change their religion based on what man she was married to; she started out as a Protestant from Ohio and now she's a Jew from Long Island.
I'm a bit irritated that she ran out of time at the end with her last joke. She said how her friends went to Europe and she couldn't go with them because of the show, and that her friends "had all these pictures and memories and chlamydia." But right as she said that, she had to leave the stage. I think it would've gotten a bigger reaction had she had just 10 more seconds.

Gerry Dee: I normally sum up each comic's jokes in order to prove my point in my assessment of their performance, delivery, etc. But I'm stumped with this one. I cannot think of what to say, for the most part. However, as my boyfriend put it, "His comedy is bland, just like his name."
And I couldn't have put it better myself. There's nothing great or memorable to write about Gerry Dee. I did notice that throughout his set, he seemed to wobble while standing (Weebles wobble but they don't fall down! Sorry, I couldn't resist). He talked a lot about when he got married and discussed in great length about the types of gifts some people gave them. I did think it was pretty funny when he didn't know why a couple would give him a 2-liter gravy boat. He said sarcastically that he's had trouble in the past where he can't figure out how to get the massive amounts of gravy from the pot to the plate.

Unfortunately, we all have to wait another week to see who's going to get voted off, based on "America's vote." My assumption? Well…who I think will stay and who I WANT to stay will be two very different things. Remember: this is the same America that's kept Mind of Mencia and Two and a Half Men on the air for more than five minutes….I don't trust that NOW they'll know what comedy is. If they did, for one, this show wouldn't be on the air or Jay Oakerson, Joe DeRosa, and Costaki Economopoulos (in other words, GOOD comics) would've made it through.

BUT, for shits and giggles, I think that the final two comics will be Amy Schumer and Lavell Crawford. They will be the final two. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

God, what a shitty story.

[Original post date: August 26th, 2007]

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 9

Welcome avid comedy reader; you've come at a wonderful time in comedy: Last Comic Standing, season 5 is almost over! This episode was to determine who was going to be in the top 5…a huge step in ending this horrific experience. I wasn't the only who was excited, as Doug Benson put it: "I can't tell you how excited I am, but I could show you if I stood up."

This week's episode was based on speed dating. Except this time, and watch how clever the producers were, it was called "speed-laughing" and as Bill Bellamy put it, you would have to make a "laugh connection" instead of a "love connection." Get it?! Because the comics will rotate just like you would with your dates, but you have to make them laugh! Oh, man, it always boggles my mind how this show was almost cancelled. Now who are their "dates" you might be wondering…why none other than 6 models from the game show, Deal or No Deal. Man, first Tom Arnold and now these women…I mean, if anything, you should watch this show for the celebrity cameos.

Now each comic will go from person to person and have one minute with each of them. HOWEVER, being the tricksters that they are, LCS has decided to replace 4 of the models with "special guests." Ooh! It's getting so exciting now! I hope they haven't jumped the shark with this stunt. Before the comics go on their "laughs" (get it, instead of "dates"…I'm just trying to go with the flow, "when in Rome," you know?), we see Mel Silverback banging a gong to initiate the challenge. Why can't he slowly place his head on that gold circle and have someone bang his fucking brains out? Next week's episode should have a Mexican wrestler fight him and in the grand tradition of Mexican wrestling, after Mel Silverback loses (and he will!), they need to unmask him…and then stab him in the fucking head! Okay, so maybe that last part isn't in the grand tradition of Mexican wrestling…but what a fun addition, huh?!
("But it is in the grand tradition of Mexicans," as my lovely boyfriend put it.)

The first guest is one of the models named Levla. The first comic to walk in was Ralph Harris, who didn't say much, just mumbled and stumbled his way through. He said it was because she was pretty. Oh, Jesus, save me…
When Doug Benson saw Levla, he proceeded to charm her by telling his bit of how he leaves his socks on during sex. Class act all the way.
Lavell Crawford, always the one to have any fat joke for any occasion, compared the model's breasts to his own and said that at least he doesn't have implants.
Jon Reep, ever so confusing, said how he got a paper cut the first time he kissed a girl. I might be misquoting but I'm going to ask a general consensus…should I start researching before writing this? Is there perhaps some unknown knowledge that everyone else knows besides me and in having this knowledge, I'd better understand the jokes? Would they be funnier? Any answers at all, please message me. I'd love some understanding.
Amy Schumer, who again impressed me with how well she executed the challenge, said to Levla if she ever gets tired of guys constantly using her for her brains. Simply awesome.
I should mention now that they didn't show EVERY comic with EVERY guest. I suppose we're better off. However, it also confused me because I only counted 5 guests and they said there were 6. My theory is the 6th one was Mel Silverback. Again, I'm sure we're better off.

The second guest was another model named Haley. When Matt Kirshen came in, he stuck with his "little boy" persona and said that this looked like a movie in which he's the dorky student who's helping her with her science project in exchange for her teaching him how to dance.
After that, they only showed Amy Schumer with Haley. Amy began asking her about celebrity gossip; about Paris Hilton, "and that chihuahua she always hangs out with…Nicole Richie." I think Kathy Griffin would've been proud.

The third guest (the first of the surprises) was…a drag queen! What?! In Los Angeles!? Wow, the producers have spared no expense looking for this rare gem on location. When Lavell Crawford walked in, he said the funniest thing he's said this entire season (yes, it happened). He walked in, saw the drag queen, and without missing a beat, he says, "Hey KISS, I have all your albums." I was impressed. I was also so impressed by how he said a whole seven words and DIDN'T mention his weight.
Matt Kirshen saw the drag queen and said that it was a court case waiting to happen. Good line.
Amy Schumer asked if the drag queen would've been her friend in high school…the answer was no.

The fourth guest was a nun, Sister Rose. Ralph Harris walked in wearing his huge character glasses and kept asking if she was really a nun. I don't know…you figure it out.
Doug Benson went in the direction that I really appreciated…to be the most inappropriate you can possibly be. He did his sex material for the nun, telling her how he acts during sex. What I thought was even funnier was that he delivered the material as if he was conversing with her about the subject, "You know how I act during sex, Sister?" He said later that he was going to lose anyway, so why not do something inappropriate?
Amy Schumer, in my opinion, did the best job with this guest. She says, "Oh, you're a nun?" then launches into this story about this old woman on the subway asking her about religion and says that maybe she hasn't heard the good news that Amy can be saved. She says to the woman that she's Jewish, and the subway woman says, "That's okay, your people just haven't found Jesus." Amy responds to this woman, "Oh, we found him…maybe you haven't heard the bad news." The nun looks confused for a moment then immediately gets it and actually smiles.
Jon Reep and Sister Rose talk about Hickory, NC. Sigh…

The fifth guest was a clown named Twinkie. Doug Benson walked in and started hitting on the clown, as she was a woman, and asked if he had any chance with her.
Gerry Dee, before this guest, said how he would do the same material for every person he saw. For every other guest, he said how women plan things in advance and that guys don't do that. Hmm, with a winner like that, I'm surprised it didn't work for everybody. However, with Twinkie, he actually used a good association by saying that Twinkie is a clown and must work with kids; he goes on to say how he used to teach kids and he had this one student who irritated him.
Lavell Crawford said that the clown shouldn't say her name, "because if you say Twinkie, I just might bite you…you look like a birthday cake." You know something? Call me crazy, but I THINK he made these food jokes because he's fat.
"Oh, is he fat? I hadn't heard." – Harry Terjanian [Sorry, I had to quote this, it was too funny when it was told to me.]

The six guests that the comics encountered determined the winner of this challenge, and finally, after weeks and weeks, someone who deserved to win really did win: Amy Schumer! First time I cheered during this damn season…good, they made the right decision. She commented how Lavell Crawford and Ralph Harris looked pissed that she won. "I thought they were my friends." Ah, fuck them, sweetheart! Ralph is mad because he's old and Lavell…well…he's probably just hungry, don't worry about them.

After this, for some reason, to "de-stress," they went to see this two women therapists and do some exercises. Doug Benson had a better way of "dumping your stress" : "Tell a dirty joke to a nun." Since I live next to three churches, I may try that this week. After the therapy session, the comics went to the Santa Monica Pier; we saw a Ferris wheel in the background on these fairgrounds, a beach, and a huge bonfire that the comics sat by. I must say that the tourist office for California must love NBC; the Santa Monica Pier, the LA Stadium…all they need is to show more drag queens and California is all set!

The voting went as follows:
Amy Schumer voted for Ralph Harris
Ralph Harris voted for Doug Benson
Doug Benson voted for Ralph Harris
Matt Kirshen voted for Gerry Dee
Lavell Crawford voted for Jon Reep
Gerry Dee voted for Lavell Crawford
Jon Reep voted for Matt Kirshen

Therefore, since Amy Schumer had immunity, Doug Benson and Ralph Harris had to go and vote who they want to challenge together…which was Matt Kirshen. Big bullies picking on the young kid. So, now, going to the Last Comic Theater would be Doug Benson, Ralph Harris, and Matt Kirshen. Only one of them was going to stay.
And once again, before the challenge began, Bill Bellamy decided to enhance our evening even further with some "comedy." Remember the good old days when Bill Bellamy was nothing more than the voice of a puppet on Nickelodeon? I remember a time when I had no idea who the hell Bill Bellamy was, but I did watch Cousin Skeeter every week. Oh, how I miss my childhood.

Matt Kirshen: Even though he kept saying how nervous he was, I was impressed that he hid it well. He was already stressing about going against 2 men who have had 40+ years experience put together…but all things considering, he did well. He started to say how he can't do the local California accent and apparently, can't even do an English accent because everyone thinks of a British accent differently; like that of a "friendly chimney sweep." He went on to say that if he breaks a traffic law, he likes to be naked because when they capture a photo of you on the road, no oneiso going to want to look at a picture of a naked child. He ended his set with how he likes to listen to live albums during sex because you get the applause. It wasn't the strongest I've seen him, but I really hoped it had been enough.

Ralph Harris: This arrogant ass kept saying how he wasn't nervous. Yeah, we get it, you have been in the business for hundreds of years compared to Matt's eight years. That doesn't mean you're going to be funny every single time and it doesn't mean the audience will like you! I was really hoping he was going to bomb after his behavior. I can understand when comics aren't nervous sometimes because they are confident…but there is a thin line between confidence and cockiness. However, despite my prayers, he did fantastic. But then again, he's been doing the same A-material for about ten years, so no wonder it worked. He went to talk about how his wife shares his clothing and ties his shirt around her waist, "Hey, I don't wear your tube tops!…I don't wear them when you're in the house…" Granted, it was good material…but it was also good ten years ago when I first saw him.

Doug Benson: The alternative comic of the bunch, Doug Benson came out saying that religion is fine as long as you don't push it on other people. If someone said to him, "Are you going to Hell?", he'd respond, "No, but if you need a lift I'm going through Bakersfield." He then started joyfully screaming about his local reference. I really have never been a fan of Doug Benson. I liked him in the show, but not on stage (which doesn't say much for the comic). He also adjusted the only joke I like from him, that he only has had sex in months that end in "-bruary." It used to be "-arch."

Not to my surprised, the winner of the challenge who will continue into the final five, was Ralph Harris. Even though it was a close vote, he still won. Just on principal alone, that pissed me off. Arrogant jerk. As we saw Matt Kirshen and Doug Benson walking away, Doug said into the camera: "I don't need to be the last comic standing. I'm gonna have a seat. I'm going to relax." Amen, Doug Benson, amen.

Therefore, the final five comics in Last Comic Standing, season 5 are:
Amy Schumer, Ralph Harris, Gerry Dee, Jon Reep, and Lavell Crawford.

[Original post date: August 19th, 2007]

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 8

Gather ye round ye televisions sets and prepare to set forth on a night of horrendous comedy. Alright, well...I can't speak "ye Old English," but that was the chosen theme of tonight's episode. The comics were brought to Medieval Times [sans Mel Silverback the bus driver, thank God!]. I'll spare you my brief memory flashbacks of The Cable Guy and let's just get right to it.

"Who will move closer to the opportunity of a lifetime?" announced Bill Bellamy....no one that deserves it, that's for sure.

The comics go to the "jousting arena" and briefly watch the knights fight each other. They are then lead to this dining area with a huge Old English type table with a FEAST on it. Huge turkeys, breads, a myriad of fruits; and at first I thought it was unfair of them to just feed Debra DiGiovani, but then they all sat down to eat, so my concerns dissipated. Their upcoming challenge was to write jokes in this medieval style (all the while, dressed in loud, colorful jester outfits). If you didn't think this show was like a fucking circus, THIS confirms that. They brought the comics out in pairs and each had an assigned colored flag; the audience raised their flags for who they thought won.

ROUND 1
1) Lavell Crawford & Doug Benson: Lavell has this uncanny ability to be tired and hack in any situation and it's nice to know that he would've been just as unfunny hundreds of years ago. He walked out in this horrifying red and blue jester outfit and said he got it at the "Medieval Big and Tall." If you can tell me why this is funny or original, please message me because maybe I'm missing something.
Doug Benson came out and shouted, "Where are my wenches at!?" I appreciate how much he was executing the challenge. His whole set was said with this affected British accent and he used "medieval lingo." He then said he has good news and bad news: the bad news is that if he doesn't win, the king will have him flogged within an inch of his life. The good news is that he likes it. I thought this was a great use of writing jokes within the confines of a challenge and in terms of these types of reality shows, that's your job: do what you do best within the terms of the challenge and I commend Doug Benson for doing just that. However, this is a CRAPPY reality show, so Lavell won against Doug.

2) Ralph Harris & Jon Reep: Jon Reep was out first and he just didn't even try; "You ever been to a Renaissance Fair? You see weird things...the animals watch the people walk around." Again, message me if I'm missing something.
Ralph Harris did even worse, if that was possible. He said how his wife is riding his ass all the time. This reminds me of being in grammar school when we were taught the parts of a sentence, the subject and the predicate. This time, I feel like dissecting to point out the setup and the punchline. And I can't. Just like in school, if there wasn't a subject or a predicate, there was no sentence...if there's no punchline, there is no joke.
Jon Reep won. "Jon Reep" is the subject, "won" is the predicate.

3) Gerry Dee & Amy Schumer: Gerry Dee attempted political humor by saying that "you guys" (meaning these Medieval folk) had a division of rich and poor like we have with the Bush family. [Insert laughter here?]
Amy Schumer throughout all the challenges, I noticed, liked to talk to the audience. Even though it was a huge arena, she liked directing questions to the people: "You ladies ever been married?...I had a little problem with the ale....any of you wenches like the ale?"
Maybe this kind of connection is why she won this round.

4) Matt Kirshen & Debra DiGiovani: If it were up to me, Matt Kirshen would've taken this entire challenge home. While Doug may have sounded like a Medieval jester and did a pretty good job, Matt wrote some very clever jokes that Medieval folks could relate to. He talked about how a security guard for a castle must feel bad because he knows he's cheaper than a moat. It was very clever and the fact that he wrote this on the fly before the challenge makes me want to go fetch him a turkey leg.
Debra DiGiovani...she once again brought her eye-gouging enthusiasm hundreds of years back. She said how she might be a jester on the outside, but on the inside she's all wench and she wants to get lanced a lot.
I don't know how, but Debra DiGiovani won by about 5 flags. I know I'm from Florida, but I WANT A RECOUNT! [Yes, I just made a 7 year old reference, sue me.]

ROUND 2
1) Jon Reep & Lavell Crawford: Jon said he bought a sausage from a one armed man and Lavell said that affirmative action hasn't been invented yet. They were both still painful to watch, but Lavell won this round.
2) Amy Schumer & Debra DiGiovani: Amy made a sex joke about how Bill Bellamy takes a few minutes, but he's like a knight and Debra said she's covered in goat hair. Now put those two images together! Amy won this round.

ROUND 3
Now it was between the winners of Round 2, Jon Reep & Amy Schumer.

Jon Reep: Just like Doug Benson and Matt Kirshen, it was now Jon Reep's turn to actually do the assigned challenge. Even though it was hack material, at least it was Medieval hack material. He started out by saying that he just flew in from middle earth, and boy is his dragon tired. Oh boy. He then launched into this long story about his dragon and how he got pulled over for an F.U.I.: Flying Under the Influence.
Amy Schumer: Amy followed with her style of connecting with the crowd: "Who's getting pillaged tonight!" She stuck with her unique style of slightly disturbing material said in that inncoent girly way: "This is really exciting since I just lost my chasity belt....to my cousin." It was a nice surprise and again, she remained within the limits of the challenge.
Jon Reep won the last round and immunity, so he can't be eliminated.

And once again, they went into the little booth and voted:
Jon Reep voted for Debra DiGiovani
Gerry Dee voted for Lavell Crawford
Amy Schumer voted for Gerry Dee
Ralph Harris voted for Amy Schumer
Matt Kirshen voted for Debra DiGiovani
Debra DiGiovani voted for Matt Kirshen
Doug Benson voted for Ralph Harris
Lavell Crawford voted for Doug Benson

Therefore Matt Kirshen & Debra DiGiovani were up against each other. At the challenge stage or what they called the "Last Comic Stage," Bill Bellamy performed again. Yep, not making that up. And once again, I'm going to spare you and myself of recalling the horror that is the decades-old comparison of white people to black people.

Debra DiGiovani: I love how she talks about subjects that we really have no interest in picturing: her going lingerie shopping, her huge bra that other people have to help her put on, a body fat test that apparently she didn't study for (yes, that was one of her punchlines...she had a body fat test done and she had "no chance to study"). I only laughed at the end when she said that if she's 50% body fat, "I think that technically makes me cream." It was one of the few jokes I heard her say at a normal pace and not at a hundred miles per hour. However, she went back to her old ways with "I may die alone, but I go great with coffee!...I just need my Coffee-mate!" UGH! If she was cream, I'd fucking blend her career up with a mixer.
Matt Kirshen: While I don't think he's the funniest person I've ever seen, during this show, I've grown to like him. At first I couldn't relate to his "little boy" tone at first, but it fit during his act; sharing things with the audience as if he's discovered them for the first time as well (much like a little boy on Christmas day...or in his case, Passover). He talked about how he's Jewish, but he's not that religious, "because's bacon's nice...that's like driving the speed limit when there's no cops." He went on to say that some of his friends are health nuts and scold him for taking aspirin, and why doesn't he use something more natural in his body. his response: "Heroin is natural...nicotine is natural...a pack of wolves..."

And here's where I got back a little bit more faith in comedy...in stand up comedy specifically...in reality television...in Last Comic Standing...

Debra DiGiovani was NOT chosen as the audience's favorite and sent home! Oh there is a God and this week, he chose me as one of his favorite children and released me from this curse that we have called the Jessica Kirson wananbe: Debra DiGiovani. Let's hope next week is just as promising...

[Original post date: August 9th, 2007]

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 7

Welcome comedy fans to another WONDERFUL episode of Last Comic Standing! This time, we're going to see some first-class heckling in...where else, but California! The heckler challenge tonight was taken place at The Ice House comedy club in Pasedena, California.
Just like all the seasons before it, a small school bus arrived to chauffuer the comics, except this time, a person wasn't driving it. Nope. This time, they brought back one of the comics, Mel Silverback to drive them around. Where's the fucking Environmental Protection Agency when you need it? Isn't there some rule about animals on crappy television shows? There must be...
What I do like about this challenge (same thing I liked last season), is that I don't need to say a word. They mock themselves and no matter how shitty their acts are, the heckling is always funny. Doug Benson started it off, right there on the bus when he said, "It's always been my dream to get on a bus with 9 other comics, one of whom can't fit through the door." He was, of course, speaking about the sweet potato himself, Lavell Crawford. See what I mean? They do all the work for me.

The heckler/performer teams were chosen:
1. Lavell Crawford & Debra DiGiovani
2. Gina Yashere & Ralph Harris
3. Dante & Doug Benson
4. Amy Schumer & Matt Kirshen
5. Jon Reep & Gerry Dee

1st Round
1) During the first round, Debra Di Giovani sat in the audience and "heckled" Lavell. I couldn't help but think to myself: couldn't they just sumo wrestle to declare a winner? It might eat a lot less air time and be TONS more funnier. (Yeah, I know, for the pun alone, I should have one of them sit on me.)
Lavell begins his set by saying that he's so lazy [How lazy is he?] that if someone is on the television that he doesn't like, and the remote is not near him, then he'll stay on the couch and just watch something he doesn't like. Do I even NEED to point out the incredible lack of creativity here? Debra's response was, "I thought Biggie Smalls was dead!" Lavell shot back later with, "I got one just like you in my trunk." Really? [Say it with me folks], it must be one large trunk then...

2) Next was Jon Reep performing with Gerry Dee heckling. Jon mocked how the sports team, the Panthers, would always play a panther noise when they accomplished something. He kept making these animal noises; I thought Mel Silverback would feel right at home. Gerry yelled at him how he's like "Remy...half a mouth and half an act" [I'm paraphrasing of course]. What I did notice was that Jon was able to use the heckling to jump right back into his act. I'm not a fan of his, but that was a good technique.

3) Now it was Amy Schumer's turn to perform and be heckled by Matt Kirshen. As Matt tried poorly to shout that she was a whore, Amy quickly responded, "Why is there a fetus in the audience?....didn't I take care of you in college?" Hands down, the best line of the night. She executed what could be regarded as a "girly joke," but not in the "Valley girl" way that she normally does. This was quite a welcome change of pace. Even though the heckling isn't part of her act, I wish she'd be this way more often; it showed much more confidence in what you're saying than stupidly laughing at the end of your jokes.

4) Next Gina Yashere performed while Ralph Harris heckled her. Ralph began by shouting, "What's that on your neck?" My guess is to suggest she had an Adam's apple. Gina's repsonse was that she can't believe she's being heckled by a broke Bill Cosby. They both did fairly well.

5) Dante, shockingly enough, did no impressions. I was sort of disappointed. But I wasn't disappointed in the last bit with Doug Benson's heckling. Dante's first joke was how he likes to go to battered women's shelters, bang on the door, and shout, "Where is she?!" Doug shouted that Dante's last name is "Is Not Funny." It was so simple and childish, but I think because he's mocking Dante, that made it hilarious. Dante shouted back, "Is one of your eyes lazy because it doesn't want to work?" Doug, very quickly, responded, "One of my eyes want to leave the room because of your act." Second best line of the night.

2nd Round
1) Now it was Doug Benson's turn to perform. I must mention that a news report came on about the bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis, so the only thing I caught was Doug saying to Dante that if you looked up funny in the dictionary, they'd be a picture of Dante watching someone be funny. I'm very glad I caught that part at least.

2) Matt Kirshen's act wasn't anything memorable; he didn't get much out before Amy Schumer began attacking him: "How's the studying at Hogwarts?" and "Did you learn a lot looking for the ring?" Both great lines and I have to hand it to Matt Kirshen who said to her, "Do you read books for adults?"

3) Ralph Harris began to talk about how foreign people smell when Gina Yahsere asked him if he forgot his collars today. Um...okay? Culture barrier, I suppose. Ralph Harris picked it up perfectly and responded that in America, we aren't told what to wear and that the queen doesn't call us up to make sure we're in dress code. Third line of the night.

4) I have to say that during Gerry Dee's performance, he destroyed Jon Reep when he tried to heckle him. All he did was mock Jon Reep's set. Just like Doug Benson, it seemed so simple, but it was executed very well and was very funny.

5) I hated this pair the most out of anyone. During Debra DiGiovani's set, Lavell Crawford's heckling turned into a routine with her! And a terribly unfunny one at best. They helped each other instead of taking each other down! DiGiovani started out with her weight (surprise?) and she said that doesn't have any "back." Lavell actually had a great line with, "You got back, I saw it come in before you did." Ah, fat jokes. They solve everything. Then it launches into them discussing how they'd have sex with each other. Boy am I glad I wasn't eating during the show.

The winner of the heckler challenge was....Lavell Crawford?! Just like Roz from last season, the worst of the bunch won. It was voted on by the audience and I'm starting to think they misunderstood the rules. Or maybe they love fat jokes more than most people. The prize for Lavell being the audience's favorite was that he got to go to Montreal to perform for the Just For Laughs festival. Damn lucky sweet potato.

Now it was time for the voting. They are taken to the Los Angeles Colliseum and Bill Bellamy appears on the jumbo screen. I still can't believe they rented out this huge venue for this train wreck. They put a couch and the voting booth at the 50 yard line and each comic went in to vote. Since Lavell had immunity, he couldn't be challenged and voted for who he thinks he's funnier than :
Lavell Crawford voted for Dante
Dante voted for Amy Schumer
Gerry Dee voted for Jon Reep
Debra DiGiovani voted for Matt Kirshen
Ralph Harris voted for Dante
Doug Benson voted for Ralph Harris
Amy Schumer voted for Gina Yashere
Jon Reep voted for Ralph Harris
Gina Yashere voted for Dante
Matt Krishen voted for Gerry Dee

So that's 3 votes for Dante. Since Gina and Ralph voted for Dante, they would go against him at the challenge. They showed Doug Benson saying afterwards: "Who do I want to lose? I really cante tell you that." And if you couldn't guess, he said cante[or can't] as if it rhymed with Dante. I may not like his act, but I love Doug Benson on this show. At the challenge round, Bill Bellamy performed[ FUCK!]. He began by saying that the best women to date are in their 40's and....sigh, you know what? It's not worth it.

Gina Yashere: I loved that there were no jokes about her Nigerian mom in this set. She mentioned how the next accessory to hit America will be a face transplant. She told a story how a woman had to get one because while she was drunk and passed out, her dog ate her face off. And the only reason she noticed is that her "now gone mouth" couldn't hold a cigarette. Yashere had a great transition into "Wouldn't that be a fantastic advert for a beer?" I loved her enthusiasm and the creative way she expanded on the story. She then brought it back to something I love: self-deprecation. Yashere said if she could get a face transplant, she'd get Halle Berry's face, but people would see her on the street and think, "Wow...Halle Berry got fat."

Dante: This hack came out screaming, "I'M ON LAST COMIC STANDING!" Oh, if only it were literal and you dropped dead right now. He started out with discussing his daughter (second surprise?) and how she talks incessantly. And according to Dante, she talks like a very gay man. His act just annoyed me and he had no ending; he just dropped the mic [a la Chris Rock] and ran off stage.

Ralph Harris: I've noticed that as the show's progressed (though the word really doesn't apply here), I've disliked Ralph Harris more and more. He's like a walking Eddie Murphy movie, just playing a million different characters from his family. But that isnt't funny. It's funny to him because they're his family and he knows them, but it doesn't translate to the audience. If you're Uncle Earl talks funny or you were hyper as a kid, that's great, but it takes a lot more than funny voices to make someone laugh. [Note: this excludes Dante's fans]

And the outcome was that 62% of the audience chose...Ralph Harris as their favorite and the winner. This means that Dante [YAY!] and Gina Yashere [BOO!] were going home. See? I knew it...if Dante stuck with his impressions, he would've won this audience over. Same with Gina Yashere I guess...if she stuck to her Nigerian mother routine, it would've been a no-contest. Since Ralph Harris did both these types of jokes, maybe that's why he stayed. I guess we'll never know. Afterwards, Dante said, "I just had a different plan." Oh please tell me that includes slitting your wrists and quitting comedy...in that order!

[Original post date: August 2nd, 2007]

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 6

Does anyone else get extremely ill when the beginning credits roll and you see Jay Mohr's name as a consultant? No? Well maybe I have a weak stomach...or a fucking ulcer from this show.

Let's start, shall we? This week's episode was the second semi-final round with the remaining 16 contestants and only 5 were chosen. As always, Bill Bellamy starts us off with his set and I don't know what happened, but I suddently felt like I was in a time machine. Someone had set the dial to 1983, because what I saw on screen was a black comic talking about how white people are different. WHAT?! When did that happen?! White people will find any reason to wear flip flops?! Jesus, have I been asleep?! Oh, but the best part was that this was his segue into airport security. He demonstrated how simple a white guy can take off his flip flops when the big, dumb security guard asks him to do so. Can I please use that time machine to go back to the Salem Witch trials so I can be burned alive and saved from this misery?

Jon Reep: Well, if John Caparulo was the hick of last week...here's the hick from this week. You know how I know? He said he's from a town in North Carolina called Hickory: "You know you're destined to be a redneck when you're from a town with the word 'hick' in it....how about Hillbill-ory or Trailpark-ery."
I SWEAR on my life that was word for word. I did NOT, in any way, shape, or form, change those words. And I loved how he just subtly changed Jeff Foxworthy's line into "you know you're destined to be a redneck." Sort of puts this philosophical and religious spin on it, don't you think? It's his destiny to be a redneck. And apparently it's my destiny to put a bullet in my head watching him. Before he went onstage, he said that if he loses, he will quit comedy. I'm praying to God he keeps that promise.

Fiona O'Loughlin: Now this was the woman that surprised me last time during the showcase. After seeing Jane Condon, I got worried about this older motherly figure...but she puts a different spin on it; portraying herself as this uncaring, lackluster mother who wants nothing more than a drink and some quiet. And she pulls it off very well. Although her set wasn't that strong, I liked her joke about her family being so big they have to have a family reunion every two years just to prevent incest.

Ryan Hamilton: Even though I disliked this guy, I think we have similar tastes in television shows. I'll explain. A little while ago, I was watching an episode of The King of Queens in which Doug wanted to get Carrie laser eye surgery for her birthday. But he was being a cheapskate and used discount surgery...which didn't turn out well. NOW, I see good old Ryan Hamilton discussing how $295 per eye for laser eye surgery isn't that much and ponders how it might not be a good idea to get discount surgery. Now, I'm not pointing any fingers, but it's not a new idea. He then launches into wondering if someone out there only needs the one eye done. His voice is just grating and it's not really anything new.

Gerry Dee: Even though I didn't laugh, I did like that this comic explored a variety of subjects (though again, every comic on this show is in the hands of the editors so you never know). At least it shows he's thinking. He talked about how in bars, he doesn't drink beer, he drinks coolers and that he's made fun of for that. Eh. He continues to say that he doesn't go to church, he gave it up for Lent a couple of years ago. Again, it was ok, but...nothing really impressive or memorable. He also seemed very nervous onstage and couldn't stand still. It almost made me dizzy watching him.

Thea Vidale: Another black woman comic who's "large and in charge" (see Roz, Mo'nique, and Adele Givens). I was expecting the same type of loud, screaming, leading-nowhere jokes...but this woman surprised me. She mentioned how she met Condoleeza Rice at this event and wanted to say to her, "What does Uncle Tom's cabin look like from the inside?" That was so absolutely clever. I think just on that joke alone, she could change my mind. The rest of her set wasn't anything to write home about, however, you could tell she has been in the business for a very long time. She looked confident on stage and had a definite voice and point of view...and didn't SCREAM the whole time. It was a nice change of pace.

Dwayne Perkins: Following the trend of the other Dwayne on this show, I remember seeing Perkins years and years ago on Comedy Central. And I felt like I stepped right back into that time machine because he performed the very same jokes I saw years back. He talked about how girls have that "guy friend," who they don't like that way and compare it to going into a job interview. They say they like you and you have all the qualifications, but they aren't going to hire you..."but could we call you occasionally and complain about the guy we do hire?" Again, great joke and he has great timing, but I wish I saw something different from him.

Matt Kirshen: This kid just confused me. He was really playing up the "I look and sound like a kid" aspect and his whole set stemmed from that. He talked about how he smiled too much and that he only has two faces: happy and stuck in a fence....??????? And "stuck in a fence" is just happy with a bit of frustration, "I'm stuck in a fence...but I'm going to see a fire truck." Yeah, okay, you're a kid, I get it. But that last joke was just bad. It didn't make any sense. It was alternative comedy gone bad with a Union Jack flag smothering it.

Amy Schumer: To me, this girl is the underdog in the competition and kind of my guilty pleasure of the show. If you just look at the structure and writing of her jokes, they show a lot of creativity and work. However...the way she presents herself onstage looks like she's a teen who got lost on her way to the mall. I wish she wouldn't do that. I think she'd be taken a lot more seriously if she didn't cock her head and laugh like a vapid schoolgirl. She spoke about how she always turns the lights off when her and her boyfriend are in the bedroom, and he said to her that she's beautiful and doesn't need to turn off the lights. "Aww...you think I don't want YOU to see ME..." I thought it was pretty funny.

Sean Rouse: This Todd Barry wannabe really irritates me. It's always said that if you're going to be that deadpan with slow delivery then you absolutely NEED to have good material to back it up. And I don't think guy does. He starts by saying he has restless leg syndrome...and that alone gets a laugh! How? He then continues this long tirade beginning with his father had it and that's what killed him...not really...vodka did...he drank it straight out of the bottle...while driving...with him in the passenger seat...trying to beat a train...on Christmas- OKAY! It was way too much; he just kept adding and adding. Just one knife in my chest after another.

Lavell Crawford: NO MORE FAT JOKES!!!!!!!

Greg Warren: Another comic on the show that seemed to have everything together, but it wasn't anything memorable.And this is also why I despise this show because I'm sure there are some great comics who are terrible victims of the editing. If you wanted to present a show about comedy (which they don't, they want a reality show), then show their set in it's entirety. It will be a longer episode but at least the viewing public has a better idea. And it also stops the editors from putting IN laughs. ANYWAY, with my rant being done...Warren was shown doing one joke about his Uncle Earl not liking the baseball game announcer on the radio. He said his uncle just wanted to hear the score and proceeded to demonstrate what a show like that would sound like. It was good, but just like Sean Rouse before him, it was way too much added in and the bit went off for too long.

Andi Smith: I think Mitch Hedberg has been reincarnated as a girl from Texas. Her timing was very slow and she looked like she was under the influence of...everything. I expected her to fall asleep at any moment. She said how her old boss's name was Lou and spelled backwards was [insert gagging sound here]. Um...alright. It's not funny because it wasn't relatable. I have no idea who your old boss was and while I'm sure you found him grotesque, but don't expect me to have the same reaction. Make the audience relate to you first, understand where you're coming from, then we can go along for the ride with you.

Arj Barker: I actually used to be a fan of Barker's. His CCP special is solid and he's very enjoyable to watch. Just like Dwayne Perkins, he did jokes from years back. He said how nobody mentions the good things about smoking, like how it can seriously reduce the risk of jogging. Very funny. He segued nicely from there into the camel from the cigarette pack is a horse with a tumor. Here's where he loses me though; with an Indian accent, he starts saying "Put that beast into the desert...you're using the wrong accent for this joke. I am Indian. This is Egypt, my friend, I don't belong here." He just used a technique that I, personally, can't stand: when comics bring attention to the fact that they're telling jokes. When the comic is bombing, sure it's expected...but using that technique here when it clearly wasn't needed just annoyed me.

Chuck Roy: Honestly, I just like looking at this guy because he looks like Zack Galifinakis and that makes me giggle. He began by saying that he has a day job as a Navy Seal...not really, he just plays a video game where he's a Navy Seal. He then talks about how the controls on the video game are difficult because one joystick is to look and the other joystick is to run. Then Chuck Roy just runs into a corner onstage to portray his confusion of the controls. Just a little too much, I think.

Jane Condon: Wow, my time machine is going to run out of juice soon with all the use I'm getting out of it. This time, I went so far back, I had to buy war bonds. She is the epitome of the hacky woman comic from years ago (and hell, maybe from today even). She says how she tells men that sex isn't a job, then holds the mic away from her and screams "It's a job!" Oh! I get it...it's a secret...ha...ha. She then says how some women fake orgasms, she fakes sleep. Sigh...I'd rather sit through prohibition then watch this woman and her fossilized bits.

Mel Silverback: After watching this show, I called my boyfriend and the first words out of his mouth, "I hope he's the first monkey to die of AIDS." Let's, for a moment, look past the fact that he's awful, he's predictable, and that he has a MONKEY MASK ON HIS HEAD! Just logically....this guy cannot sustain a career. All his jokes are about...monkeys. Eventually, you'd run out of material. Now, let's look at the other stuff. HE'S FUCKING TERRIBLE!!! For his last bit, he said, "Sure, this guy is funny but can he do impressions...?" And he does Curious George which is just him scratching his head. Oh, God, to taste the sweet barrel of a gun in my mouth.

The 5 finalists who were chosen from this round were: Jon Reep, Gerry Dee, Matt Kirshen, Amy Schumer, and Lavell Crawford.

Oh, and I have to mention that I totally called that Lavell would be the audience's favorite. Stupid audiences are just that predictable. Goodnight everybody!

[Original post date: July 26th, 2007]