Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 2

And now it's episode two of season 5 of Last Comic Standing. The judges continued with the auditions, but now they go to the Mecca of comedy: California! And let the games begin!

Jon Reep: This skinnier version of Larry the Cable Guy told a joke about how in North Carolina, there are two sections in a restaurant: smoking and chain-smoking. Eh. He made it through.

Lizzy Cooperman: This trainwreck in pigtails did one joke about how if she's homeless, than people can't stalk her. She made it through.

Stephen Glickman: Talking about your moms seem to be a theme this season. This guy, who looked like he lost his way to a Slipknot concert, said how his mom gave him bad advice. "Never take candy from strangers...screw that...candy is delicious...what she should've said is never have sex with them in their van." Just like Amy Schumer, his persona and attitude annoyed me, but the joke wasn't bad. He moved on.

Dan McGowan: This rotund man walked up and said, "Here's an old song," and proceeded to bang a stick against a rock while grunting. And just like the cavemen, he didn't survive.

Chad Lehrman: This shrimpy guy with glasses walked on and in a very mousy, weak voice started saying he was edgy; "How do I know I'm edgy? It says so right on my comedy flyer." Alonzo Bodden, always the one to be sharp on comedy and irony, said "You can't just say you're edgy, you gotta be edgy." Wow. I guess if you're not obvious enough for Alonzo, you don't make it through.

Alycia Cooper: I suppose pondering about pap smears at the airport security check-in and dating homeless men is enough to move on.

Peter Prins: If you saw the commercials for LCS, this was the guy with the megaphone talking into the mic: "Take me to your leader." Apparently, he was an Irish alien, but they sent him back to his home planet.

Sean Rouse: His delivery and tone was reminiscent of Todd Barry and all I remember is that he started out very slow and methodical, talking about Bobby Knight as a basketball coach, sounding like he was announcing his death on the CNN news. Then I remember him screaming as his "punchline." He made it through.

Could the Devil's handywork be anymore apparent than at the comedy showcase at the L.A. Improv in Los Angeles, California?:
Stephen Glickman
Dwayne Perkins
Lizzy Cooperman
Thea Vidale
Jon Reep
Alycia Cooper
Dante
Sean Rouse
Sarah Colonna

Next stop: Sydney, Australia. You know, I looked up that a flight to Australia takes about 30 hours or more. All that time that God had to crash a plane...and he didn't. So disappointing.

Captain Australia: Just as his name suggests, this nightmare came out in a mask and cape and told "jokes." I then heard the only funny thing Alonzo Bodden ever said; he said to the Captain that somebody should shoot him. Needless to say, Captain Australia was deafeated.

Adam Vincent: He said how if you die with a blue bucket on your head, and your life flashes before your eyes, you can say, "Hey, there was a blue bucket on my head!" Um...haha? He recovered by saying that he gives homeless people money in case they're Jesus in disguise. Not bad; he moved on.

It's that time again for "Montage and the City!" This time, it was the special, "accents we can't understand" segment! Sigh, let's move on.

Gina Yashere: What? A woman who's foreign AND funny? Yeah, it happened. She had a great joke about how her mother was Nigerian and came to England. She pictured her mother laying out maps of all different countries and saying, "Now, I want to go somewhere with a lot of drizzle and subtle racism." I was actually glad she moved on.

Jimmy Lomax: A Scottish man in a kilt, a huge fake mustache and lots of fake red facial hair with a harmonica. He began singing about having to pee...those classy Scots. If you couldn't guess, Ant is not big on piss humor.

Mandy Hampson: This woman came out in a large red wig that reminded me of Elvis's hair. All she said was, "I know you might be wondering how I'm the hairdresser to the stars." Ugh...NEXT!

Jackie Loeb: All I remember is that this pig of a girl stripped to her bra and shorts. I suddenly remembered why I need to lose weight...and why I don't eat cottage cheese. Blech...

Claire Hooper: Now this woman actually wasn't that bad. Maybe since the water in Australian toilets go backwards, then everything else is backwards...their women are funnier than their men. You never know. She talked about how she learned sign language for her comedy and she even learned things she'll never need, like "I'm behind this wall" and "That's how I lost both my arms." Very clever. She made it through.

Fiona O'Loughlin: Again, I really was surprised at the ratio of funny women to men in this country. Fiona is a mother and wife and what was refreshing is instead of complaining that her husband is lazy or stupid, she went the route that she was lazy and sick of her family. She discussed how she has 5 kids, but her and her husband are determinded to keep trying until they get one they like. It bordered on hack material, but it worked with her. She moved on.

Lawrence Mooney: The only funny male I saw in this entire episode. He talked about how it's wrong that people have anger towards homophobics because maybe something happened to them in their childhood; like a gay man fell on then as a child. And that you wouldn't have anger towards claustrophobics, for example; "Oh, you narrow minded bigot!" I thought that was clever. He moved on.

Time for the Austrailian showcase! Good on ya!:
Gina Yashere
Michael Williams (Think an Australian Demetri Martin...ugh)
Adam Vincent
Fiona O'Loughlin
Claire Hooper
Sam Bowring
Lawrence Mooney

Tune in next time, same hack time, same hack channel.

[Original post date: June 28th, 2007]