Thursday, August 30, 2007

Last Comic Standing, season 5, episode 7

Welcome comedy fans to another WONDERFUL episode of Last Comic Standing! This time, we're going to see some first-class heckling in...where else, but California! The heckler challenge tonight was taken place at The Ice House comedy club in Pasedena, California.
Just like all the seasons before it, a small school bus arrived to chauffuer the comics, except this time, a person wasn't driving it. Nope. This time, they brought back one of the comics, Mel Silverback to drive them around. Where's the fucking Environmental Protection Agency when you need it? Isn't there some rule about animals on crappy television shows? There must be...
What I do like about this challenge (same thing I liked last season), is that I don't need to say a word. They mock themselves and no matter how shitty their acts are, the heckling is always funny. Doug Benson started it off, right there on the bus when he said, "It's always been my dream to get on a bus with 9 other comics, one of whom can't fit through the door." He was, of course, speaking about the sweet potato himself, Lavell Crawford. See what I mean? They do all the work for me.

The heckler/performer teams were chosen:
1. Lavell Crawford & Debra DiGiovani
2. Gina Yashere & Ralph Harris

3. Dante & Doug Benson

4. Amy Schumer & Matt Kirshen

5. Jon Reep & Gerry Dee


1st Round
1) During the first round, Debra Di Giovani sat in the audience and "heckled" Lavell. I couldn't help but think to myself: couldn't they just sumo wrestle to declare a winner? It might eat a lot less air time and be TONS more funnier. (Yeah, I know, for the pun alone, I should have one of them sit on me.)
Lavell begins his set by saying that he's so lazy [How lazy is he?] that if someone is on the television that he doesn't like, and the remote is not near him, then he'll stay on the couch and just watch something he doesn't like. Do I even NEED to point out the incredible lack of creativity here? Debra's response was, "I thought Biggie Smalls was dead!" Lavell shot back later with, "I got one just like you in my trunk." Really? [Say it with me folks], it must be one large trunk then...

2) Next was Jon Reep performing with Gerry Dee heckling. Jon mocked how the sports team, the Panthers, would always play a panther noise when they accomplished something. He kept making these animal noises; I thought Mel Silverback would feel right at home. Gerry yelled at him how he's like "Remy...half a mouth and half an act" [I'm paraphrasing of course]. What I did notice was that Jon was able to use the heckling to jump right back into his act. I'm not a fan of his, but that was a good technique.

3) Now it was Amy Schumer's turn to perform and be heckled by Matt Kirshen. As Matt tried poorly to shout that she was a whore, Amy quickly responded, "Why is there a fetus in the audience?....didn't I take care of you in college?" Hands down, the best line of the night. She executed what could be regarded as a "girly joke," but not in the "Valley girl" way that she normally does. This was quite a welcome change of pace. Even though the heckling isn't part of her act, I wish she'd be this way more often; it showed much more confidence in what you're saying than stupidly laughing at the end of your jokes.

4) Next Gina Yashere performed while Ralph Harris heckled her. Ralph began by shouting, "What's that on your neck?" My guess is to suggest she had an Adam's apple. Gina's repsonse was that she can't believe she's being heckled by a broke Bill Cosby. They both did fairly well.

5) Dante, shockingly enough, did no impressions. I was sort of disappointed. But I wasn't disappointed in the last bit with Doug Benson's heckling. Dante's first joke was how he likes to go to battered women's shelters, bang on the door, and shout, "Where is she?!" Doug shouted that Dante's last name is "Is Not Funny." It was so simple and childish, but I think because he's mocking Dante, that made it hilarious. Dante shouted back, "Is one of your eyes lazy because it doesn't want to work?" Doug, very quickly, responded, "One of my eyes want to leave the room because of your act." Second best line of the night.

2nd Round
1) Now it was Doug Benson's turn to perform. I must mention that a news report came on about the bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis, so the only thing I caught was Doug saying to Dante that if you looked up funny in the dictionary, they'd be a picture of Dante watching someone be funny. I'm very glad I caught that part at least.

2) Matt Kirshen's act wasn't anything memorable; he didn't get much out before Amy Schumer began attacking him: "How's the studying at Hogwarts?" and "Did you learn a lot looking for the ring?" Both great lines and I have to hand it to Matt Kirshen who said to her, "Do you read books for adults?"

3) Ralph Harris began to talk about how foreign people smell when Gina Yahsere asked him if he forgot his collars today. Um...okay? Culture barrier, I suppose. Ralph Harris picked it up perfectly and responded that in America, we aren't told what to wear and that the queen doesn't call us up to make sure we're in dress code. Third line of the night.

4) I have to say that during Gerry Dee's performance, he destroyed Jon Reep when he tried to heckle him. All he did was mock Jon Reep's set. Just like Doug Benson, it seemed so simple, but it was executed very well and was very funny.

5) I hated this pair the most out of anyone. During Debra DiGiovani's set, Lavell Crawford's heckling turned into a routine with her! And a terribly unfunny one at best. They helped each other instead of taking each other down! DiGiovani started out with her weight (surprise?) and she said that doesn't have any "back." Lavell actually had a great line with, "You got back, I saw it come in before you did." Ah, fat jokes. They solve everything. Then it launches into them discussing how they'd have sex with each other. Boy am I glad I wasn't eating during the show.

The winner of the heckler challenge was....Lavell Crawford?! Just like Roz from last season, the worst of the bunch won. It was voted on by the audience and I'm starting to think they misunderstood the rules. Or maybe they love fat jokes more than most people. The prize for Lavell being the audience's favorite was that he got to go to Montreal to perform for the Just For Laughs festival. Damn lucky sweet potato.

Now it was time for the voting. They are taken to the Los Angeles Colliseum and Bill Bellamy appears on the jumbo screen. I still can't believe they rented out this huge venue for this train wreck. They put a couch and the voting booth at the 50 yard line and each comic went in to vote. Since Lavell had immunity, he couldn't be challenged and voted for who he thinks he's funnier than :
Lavell Crawford voted for Dante
Dante voted for Amy
Schumer
Gerry Dee voted for Jon Reep

Debra DiGiovani voted for Matt Kirshen

Ralph Harris voted for Dante

Doug Benson voted for Ralph Harris

Amy Schumer voted for Gina Yashere

Jon Reep voted for Ralph Harris

Gina Yashere voted for Dante

Matt Krishen voted for Gerry
Dee

So that's 3 votes for Dante. Since Gina and Ralph voted for Dante, they would go against him at the challenge. They showed Doug Benson saying afterwards: "Who do I want to lose? I really cante tell you that." And if you couldn't guess, he said cante[or can't] as if it rhymed with Dante. I may not like his act, but I love Doug Benson on this show. At the challenge round, Bill Bellamy performed[ FUCK!]. He began by saying that the best women to date are in their 40's and....sigh, you know what? It's not worth it.

Gina Yashere: I loved that there were no jokes about her Nigerian mom in this set. She mentioned how the next accessory to hit America will be a face transplant. She told a story how a woman had to get one because while she was drunk and passed out, her dog ate her face off. And the only reason she noticed is that her "now gone mouth" couldn't hold a cigarette. Yashere had a great transition into "Wouldn't that be a fantastic advert for a beer?" I loved her enthusiasm and the creative way she expanded on the story. She then brought it back to something I love: self-deprecation. Yashere said if she could get a face transplant, she'd get Halle Berry's face, but people would see her on the street and think, "Wow...Halle Berry got fat."

Dante: This hack came out screaming, "I'M ON LAST COMIC STANDING!" Oh, if only it were literal and you dropped dead right now. He started out with discussing his daughter (second surprise?) and how she talks incessantly. And according to Dante, she talks like a very gay man. His act just annoyed me and he had no ending; he just dropped the mic [a la Chris Rock] and ran off stage.

Ralph Harris: I've noticed that as the show's progressed (though the word really doesn't apply here), I've disliked Ralph Harris more and more. He's like a walking Eddie Murphy movie, just playing a million different characters from his family. But that isnt't funny. It's funny to him because they're his family and he knows them, but it doesn't translate to the audience. If you're Uncle Earl talks funny or you were hyper as a kid, that's great, but it takes a lot more than funny voices to make someone laugh. [Note: this excludes Dante's fans]

And the outcome was that 62% of the audience chose...Ralph Harris as their favorite and the winner. This means that Dante [YAY!] and Gina Yashere [BOO!] were going home. See? I knew it...if Dante stuck with his impressions, he would've won this audience over. Same with Gina Yashere I guess...if she stuck to her Nigerian mother routine, it would've been a no-contest. Since Ralph Harris did both these types of jokes, maybe that's why he stayed. I guess we'll never know. Afterwards, Dante said, "I just had a different plan." Oh please tell me that includes slitting your wrists and quitting comedy...in that order!

[Original post date: August 2nd, 2007]

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